Blog Archives

"A Hunger to Know God More"

2/27/2019

Good morning ladies! How are you today? It's been awhile. I think I forgot to let you know that we'd be on vacation this week, but we ended up not going. I'm sure many of you already heard the whole story on Facebook, but for those of you who didn't, we were supposed to go to Texas last week for a little vacation. And we wanted to drive. I'm not sure what we were thinking when we made the driving vs. flying decision. Hmm. Anyway, we set out for the south on Sunday after church, but only made it as far as Owatonna, Minnesota (about 90 miles from home). Yeah, and that took us about three hours. We got off for some lunch, and in that time, they closed the expressway. We thought we'd try to see if we could handle the alternate route, and the driving conditions were the worst I've ever been in. We couldn't see anything. It was to the point that we stopped right in the road. And that really isn't a good idea. Blizzard and white-out conditions were crippling southern Minnesota. I started calling hotels and they were already all completely booked. We wanted to stay where we were, thinking we could just leave early the next morning. The hotels told us that the armory was sheltering people for the night. I mean, I was thankful for that, but I suddenly thought I was in some kind of unreal dream. Shelter? PK suggested a Bed & Breakfast. I located one in the area and they had one room left so we took it. That alone was an interesting experience, but we were safe and warm. As time went on, it became apparent that this was a huge, slow-moving storm and we weren't going anywhere for awhile. Unless, of course, we wanted to go north and return home. So we did. Very disappointing, but we'll just have to reschedule. You can't force something to happen, can you? And for the last few days, that's all they talked about on the local news. How many people had slept in cars, were stranded, in accidents, and two people even died, one of whom was trying to help others. So God protected us. And here we are, with more snow last night, and more to come on Friday. But then we start another month--one month closer to Spring!

Devotion

What a beautifully written devotion today! Are you hungering for more today? Have a Wonderful Wednesday!

“A Hunger to Know God More”

“He touched my mouth … and said, ‘Look. … Gone your guilt, Your sins wiped out.’ And then I heard the voice of the Master: ‘Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?’ I spoke up, ‘I’ll go. Send me!’” Isaiah 6:7b, 8 (MSG)

I’ve spent all my life hungry.

But now there’s a different hunger to take in the Word of God.

This is how I remember it beginning …

I notice it when a new youth pastor preaches from the old book, and then more as I go through a Bible study and find these words coming alive, breadcrumbs leading someplace bright.

I find I want more. I find spending time with His words leads me to God Himself. The words are more than words, though. Slowly, His words bleed into my heart, then out from my heart, into my everyday, ordinary life.

I begin — not even consciously — hungering for things I never did before. Without trying.

Instead of waking up to get the kids and me ready, do housework or start dinner, I want to learn what God is like. Who He is. I want to talk to Him, and I want Him to talk to me. So I make time for that by getting up before everyone else.

New life intersects for me in this small rural town, where God’s words find me, and I awake to them. It’s like coming out of anesthesia, rising after a long sleep.

It doesn’t take long to sense my taste buds changing. I don’t want the comforts I wanted before; now I crave those words that fill me in a way I’d not known was possible.

My thought patterns begin to change as well. I rearrange my life to position my cold heart next to God’s campfire. I suddenly see habits I knew God was gently calling me away from. Slowly, He begins melting my heart, changing me from the inside out. It isn’t anything drastic all at one time. Rather, it’s slow interior work, invisible work.

We all want outward, immediate change. But this is gradual work on the inside, sacred work. I can feel it taking root, and soon others start to see it, too.

The pastor asks me to help teach a single women’s Sunday School class. I begin to harbor a love of studying the Bible and sparking this love in others.

I love seeing women’s eyes light up when God shows them something they hadn’t seen before. I love letting them know how much He loves them. They’re all kinds of single women. Divorced, mostly. Some have little children, some have grown children, and one is a war veteran who lives her life in a wheelchair. All of us are hungry for holy words.

When I read, eat and act on words from the Bible, they go down deep into my insides, penetrating my surface superficiality, my negative narratives, all the way down to the deepest dark, secret places.

Reading the Bible, the words burn deep inside me. They alleviate the ache. When I read the Bible and talk to God, I don’t want to play it safe. Something in me wants to come out and do something brave, and it scares me.

Sitting in my usual row at church, I feel like I’m pulling up a chair to the best meal I’ve ever had. Pastor Jedidiah, our youth pastor, opens Isaiah 6 and simply reads word for word:

“He touched my mouth … and said, ‘Look. … Gone your guilt, Your sins wiped out.’ And then I heard the voice of the Master: ‘Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?’ I spoke up, ‘I’ll go. Send me!’” (verse 7b, 8)

The words begin connecting dots in my heart. Papa God is writing my story! But it’s bigger than me. I see it is for others, too. I haven’t been on my own! He’s found me! He picks me up and carries me to His table. I don’t have to do anything but let Him. He is more than a spectator.

“Who will go for me?” Jedidiah reads, and my hand shoots up.

“Yes, send me!” I feel exposed, but for the first time, I don’t hurt.

When I leave church, I know I have heard God’s voice deep in the center of me. He fought for me there. He set a table for me there. He fed me there.

It is a safe place.

Papa God, I’m thankful there’s more to life with You than a simple sinner’s prayer or walking down an aisle. Let Your Word be my map, leading me to Your heart. Remake me into Your beautiful daughter. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Tiffini Kilgore

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Deuteronomy 8:3b, “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.” (NIV)

Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” (NIV)

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"In Sickness and in Health"

2/20/2019

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Good morning from Narnia! Haha! How are you today? Yep, it's been quite a different morning around here because we are all home. Schools are cancelled and the weather is so bad that PK closed the church office as well. I'm not really sure where they'll put all the snow this time when they finally can plow. Let's just say that the parking lots are getting smaller in size. I know this is a huge snow system, coming from the west and going all the way east. Hey, feel free to share some of your stories or pictures! I know we are breaking February snow total records here. As much as I love shoveling (not being sarcastic), I have been put on a 'no shovel time out!' I might've overdone it last week, and my muscles that probably haven't been used in awhile have been sort of screaming at me. Ah, I guess I'll stick to walking Molly to get out of the house for some fresh air.

Devotion

Even after a very busy morning around here, I'm really glad that I read this devotion and chose to send it out to you. Powerful, yet needed words. Are you struggling with an important relationship in your life? Your marriage? Perhaps a relative or close friend? Is it toxic? Does it affect you emotionally and physically? Many things to think about, but the good news is that we always have our relationship with God, and we can always turn to Him for peace and courage.

“In Sickness and in Health”

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27, ESV)

Life is filled with challenges. We need to know someone has our back, and we have a safe place to turn when we feel rejected or misunderstood. We need a place where we can be transparent, think out loud and vent our innermost thoughts and feelings.

But what if the place you counted on to feel safe and protected — your marriage — is the place you feel most betrayed and alone? What if you actually feel unsafe, unhealthy and unwell in your marriage?

These are hard truths. We keep them secret, embarrassed to admit we feel hurt at home. It seems easier to put on a cheerful face and say all is fine.

I recently counseled a woman who was unhappy in her long-term marriage. With added stress at work, she knew something had to change.

She got up the courage to leave her job, accepted a friend’s offer to house-sit and spent two months considering her life, hoping her husband would do the same. It was the scariest thing she’d ever done.

Eventually her husband joined her in counseling, and she started to feel alive again. She never knew how much emotional tension she carried in her body until she felt emotional relaxation.

Research is uncovering painful truths about what happens in marriages filled with anger, distrust and “crazymaking.” When one spouse’s thoughts and actions are consistently criticized, when one’s needs and feelings consistently trump another’s needs and feelings, marriages become unsafe. When efforts to offer feedback are met with defensiveness and blame-shifting, when history is rewritten to meet a spouse’s needs, your body keeps score.

And trouble comes.

Instead of two being better than one, as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 suggests, we now see people retreating into themselves. Instead of feeling vibrant and alive, filled with joy and excitement about what the Lord is doing in their lives, they strain to cope. They adapt and accommodate to the ongoing stress, while feeling more and more unhealthy. We see stress responses and subsequent anxiety leading to debilitating illnesses — anxiety, autoimmune disorders, sleep disturbance, depression, chronic aches and pains and loss of focus.

Doctors, chiropractors, physical therapists and other healing professionals are quick to inform us about the impact of chronic stress. Living in a constant state of discontent, or worse, endless unhappiness, often leads to an unlimited number of both physical and emotional maladies. Our bodies keep a running tally of our feelings.

Residing in ongoing tension is not God’s desire for us. He wants us to live in peace, which we see in today’s key verse: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).

God’s peace comes not from worldly relationships or circumstances, but from our relationship with God.

We can have an abundant, full life regardless of how our relationships are doing. How is an abundant life possible? The psalmist says, “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11b, ESV).

Real, ultimate healing comes in our companionship and friendship with God as He helps us face the truth of a situation.

Once we face the truth of our situation with God’s strength, sometimes we may have to make difficult decisions and boldly set boundaries.

Maybe that includes honestly assessing our physical and emotional health and taking action. It might mean talking candidly to a trusted friend about what’s really happening in our marriages. It may require we reveal hard truths.

While we seek every possible avenue for healing from the stress of a troubled marriage or from another challenging relationship, we can embrace our relationship with God. We never lose sight of the fact that in addition to being physical and emotional beings, we are also spiritual. God is with us and gives us opportunities to change, grow and heal.

Heavenly Father, help me see and tell the truth about my life. Let me remember You have better in store for me, and grant me courage in seeking change. Give me wisdom to make necessary changes for a happier and healthier future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Dr. David Hawkins

TRUTH FOR TODAY

James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (NIV)

Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (NIV)

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"Your Love Story"

2/18/2019

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Good morning ladies. I hope you're doing well on this lovely, sunny morning! How was your weekend? We had Maria here with us to celebrate Casey's birthday and Valentine's Day. It is always so much fun to have her here. She has a way of brightening things up! She'll be with us today, but then takes the bus back to Chicago tonight after dinner. It worked out nicely that Casey has the day off today for President's Day so they can spend one last day together.

Devotion

I love the reminder today that our love story begins with our Almighty God. Have a Magnificent Monday ladies!

“Your Love Story”

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Matthew 19:5 (NIV)

Four years after earning my college degree, I went to graduate school. A certain young man flipped my hamburger at student orientation. A few weeks later, “hamburger guy” was serving in the same nursing home ministry as I was. You might say he had me at “Jello.” His name was James, and as he shared a Bible study with the residents, I thought, Lord, I want to marry that man!

We became good friends, but I interpreted every friendly gesture as a prelude to romantic love. He’d take me out to ice cream with a “buy one, get one free” coupon. He’d invite me to the movies with his friends. After a year and a half of friendship and nothing more, I finally got the message.

Lord, I prayed, if James is not the man for me, I will surrender my hopes about him to You.

About the same time, James was opening his eyes to the possibility of love. He was planning to take me out for fast-food to proclaim this change of heart, but a friend wisely told him to take me to a restaurant. After dessert, he pulled out a red rose and a yellow rose from underneath a jacket. “We’ve been friends,” he said, “and now I want to find out if we should be more. I would like to date you.”

Five months later, we were engaged. It was a dream come true!

In our key verse about marriage from Matthew 19:5, Jesus is quoting Genesis 2:24, which reads, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”Here’s the life-changing, foundational principle for the family, given in Genesis and reiterated by Jesus. A man breaks ties from his parents and is permanently joined to his wife. Literally, it means they are glued together. They become one flesh — the basis for unity in marriage. It doesn’t mean every happily married couple will agree about everything, but they agree on being one.

Forsaking all others, I married James 20 years ago. I believe it’s good to remember the early days of dating to keep your marriage sweet and unified. It’s easy to allow frustrations, disappointments and disagreements to erode the unity between a husband and wife. But when I take time to remember how blessed I felt when the relationship began and my husband proposed, it gives me a grateful heart for the man I have.

So what’s your love story? Do you believe you don’t have one? Maybe you’re single, widowed, or your marriage didn’t work out. Remember today that God Almighty is madly in love with you.

Isaiah 54 verses 4a and 5 says, “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated … For your Maker is your husband — the LORD … Almighty is his name — the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth” (NIV). Wow, now that’s an epic love story! The God of all the universe says, “… my unfailing love for you will not be shaken”(verse 10b).

Each and every one of us has a love story worth remembering and celebrating.

Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me and having compassion on me. Help me remember with gratitude the love story You’re writing in my life. Strengthen marriages today, and turn husbands and wives toward each other in unity. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Arlene Pellicane

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Psalm 77:11-12, “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” (NIV)

Ephesians 4:2-3, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (NIV)

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"Oh. No. She. Didn't!"

2/13/2019

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Good morning ladies! And Happy Valentine's Day to you tomorrow! Any special plans that you want to share with us? Of course, I already told you about our fun time last weekend. A little chocolate wouldn't hurt, though! I did make some cookies yesterday. Sugar cookies with frosting and sprinkles. Heart cookie cutters. The whole works. The kind that takes all day. And oh my, the kitchen was a mess! Molly ate some sprinkles too. I mean,she helped me clean the floor! I mostly made them for the Ladies' Chat time at church today. It's a time each month when we have a chat with the Pastors and get together for a treat and conversation, and this month was for the ladies because of Valentine's Day. My cookies went, but I didn't. After yesterday, I'm too worn out. It wasn't just my baking adventure that did it, but I also might've gone a bit overboard because I shoveled quite a bit of snow. It's hard to wait for the plow service when you have a dog that has to be taken out. They promise to come within twelve hours once it stops snowing, but if we don't shovel at least a path to walk, we risk falling, and that is NOT happening!! So, today will be a bit slower, hopefully, but we still have to do groceries. How about you?

Devotion

Are you one that is easily offended? I know that I can get my feelings hurt pretty easily. It can be hard to change this when you're a sensitive person, however, it's still something we can work on. Have a great day ladies and a Wonderful Wednesday!

“Oh. No. She. Didn’t!”

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

People use all kinds of expressions to describe being upset or offended. Such as “That flew all over me” or “Well, I never!” Another expression that comes to mind is “Oh no she didn’t.” For example …

When someone takes credit for your big idea. Oh no she didn’t.

When someone passes the blame on to you. Oh no she didn’t.

When someone gives you a backhanded compliment. (“Your hair looks so much better since you had it cut.”) Oh. No. She. Didn’t!

From little offenses to major ones, it’s easy to get our feelings hurt when we perceive someone has wronged us. Whether or not we have cause to be offended, when we take offense, our relationships can suffer. It’s as if we develop relational blind spots.

As hard as it is to admit, sometimes I’m easily offended. It’s easy to blame others when we get hurt, but the truth is, we have control over our emotions. And I can choose whether to feel offended.

I’ve learned to consider honestly whether I’m easily offended by asking the following questions:

Do you find that your feelings are frequently hurt?
Have people told you they feel as if they have to walk on eggshells around you?
Are you constantly feeling annoyed?
Do you frequently expect someone to apologize?
Are you constantly repeating the words, “You hurt my feelings”?

Much like forgiveness is a choice, not being easily offended is also a choice.

There was a time when I had to make this choice at work. I was looking forward to a new hire coming on board. Unfortunately from day one, she made comments toward me that left me feeling … well, offended.

As a result of both her actions and my response, we frequently butted heads, causing our team to be less cohesive than it could have been. One day, I learned that this woman had recently been injured. In that moment, I had to make a decision. Was I willing to extend grace to her despite how she had treated me? The choice was clear.

So, a colleague and I scrambled to take care of some things for her, and we picked up the slack during her recovery. A short while later, my boss asked me why I had helped this woman, despite the way she had treated me.

“Because love covers a multitude of sins,” I replied. This answer comes from 1 Peter 4:8. The Amplified Bible explains that this means love forgives and disregards the offenses of others.

While I had every reason to be offended, the Lord impressed upon my heart that I had an opportunity to be kind. As a result, the relationship improved so that it was more professional. I extended grace to her, treating her how I would want to be treated. I worked hard to let go of the offenses and integrate the words of 1 Peter 4:8 into my life. And it worked!

Jesus’ love through the cross has covered a multitude of our sins. Allow His grace to overflow out of that excess to those in your life who offend you, and choose to turn your “Oh no she didn’t!” into “Oh yes He did!”

Dear Lord, I’m sorry for how I’ve offended others. I ask that You reveal to me if there’s anyone I need to make peace with. At the same time, show me when and how to let go of offenses against me. Help me learn to be a better spouse, neighbor and friend. And when someone offends me, enable me to give that person grace in the same way You’ve shown me grace. May I respond in a way that helps, rather than harms, my relationships. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Dr. Laurel Shaler

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you — for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” (NIV)

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"Responding with Compassion (When You'd Rather Not"

2/11/2019

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Good morning ladies. How are you? How was your weekend? I mentioned that I would tell you about my Valentine date, so here is what we did. Through heavily falling snow (again), we drove out to the Old Log Theater in Excelsior, Minnesota to have dinner and watch "Lend Me a Tenor." It was so much fun! So much action and laughing! I needed that. Good choice PK! Today is kind of a catch-up day around the house. You know how it is after a weekend. So, laundry, grocery list, and other chores. More snow is expected tonight. Not sure where it's gonna fit! Ha! It will be up to our waists soon..... So, what's going on in your lives?

Devotion

Have you ever been falsely accused of something? Our family actually went through a whole season of false accusations, hurtful comments, and painful circumstances. It's a devastating place to be, but today's devotion assures us that God takes up our pain and shows compassion on us. He redeems us! And He wants us to respond with compassion also. Have a Mighty Monday ladies!

“Responding with Compassion (When You’d Rather Not)

“You came near when I called you and you said, ‘Do not fear.’ You, LORD, took up my case; you redeemed my life. LORD, you have seen the wrong done to me. Uphold my cause!” Lamentations 3:57-59 (NIV)

I would like to tell you I responded by taking the high road and was a model of maturity. But to be honest, I became slightly unhinged.

Years ago, an old colleague accused me of gossiping behind her back. It wasn’t a soft accusation, either; it was bitter, hurtful and destructive. She sent me vicious messages on social media and began attacking my reputation.

This was the first time I’d experienced a false accusation, my first time being blamed for something I was entirely innocent of doing, and the first time my name was dragged through the mud.

I actually typed up about 25 versions of vicious retorts (which thankfully the Lord nudged me to delete before sending). I vented for days, cried, lost sleep. I made up imaginary conversations with this woman, including all of the witty things I would say to put her in her proper place. Then I enacted these conversations … aloud … in my car … by myself … like the dignified woman of God that I am.

This continued until I realized how much power I was giving this injustice. I was allowing it to steal my joy, creativity, thought life, prayer life and disposition. On top of it all, I completely lost perspective. In my mind, I turned this woman into a villain, rather than a human being who was likely walking through some hardship herself.

I neglected to feel or show compassion, refusing to see her as a woman created in the image of God, who needs Jesus as much as I do, who needs her pain alleviated just like anyone else.

The book of Lamentations resonates with me, because in it, we find Jeremiah crying out to God on behalf of people who have continually rejected, ridiculed and rebuked him.

Jeremiah’s laments are rugged and oh so real. But somehow, in the midst of his raw pain, he still chooses to show compassion to the same folks who push him away.

Instead of nursing a wounded ego, Jeremiah focuses outward, passionately advocating for his nation. The prophet laments the pain of others while continually surrendering his own fear, worry and suffering to the Lord.

Jeremiah never succumbs to the burning urge to defend his personal reputation (nor for that matter, have ridiculous imaginary conversations in his car).

Whatever relational difficulty you’re facing right now, you can adopt the same attitude as Jeremiah, which says, “Do not fear. God is near. He will take up my case. God’s got this.”

The undeserved compassion God has shown us in Jesus can empower us to follow Jeremiah’s example and show others — especially those who haven’t earned it — that same supernatural compassion.

It’s unlikely I’ll ever become BFFs with my accuser. In fact, one way I protect my heart is to maintain healthy boundaries with her. Still, I can choose compassion for her and ask God to open my eyes to her pain. I can pray for her and lament with her.

And I can have hope that somehow, God’s giant, compassionate love is enough to uphold both our causes.

If you’re hurting today, remember this truth: God draws near to those who call on Him. (James 4:8) He removes our fear. He invades the most difficult situations with His unstoppable hope. God is at work renewing all things — even our relational pain. And He mercifully transforms us in the midst of these trials.

God sings a louder song than any difficulty we face — a song of renewal, restoration and never-failing compassion.

Dear God, I praise You for Your compassion. Thank You for being near when I feel brokenhearted. I confess sometimes I’m tempted to give into pettiness or fear when I’m offended. Grant me the grace and strength to have compassion on all those around me and walk without fear, trusting that You take up my cause. Thank You for seeing me and singing Your louder song over the noise of my pain. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Aubrey Sampson

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Lamentations 3:22-24, “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” (NIV)

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"Praying Circles Around Your Marriage"

2/6/2019

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Good morning ladies. How are you? Staying warm and cozy? This was the first morning in awhile that I got out for an actual walk with Molly. It's just been too cold and slippery, and we've been just letting her out the front door to do her business and get right back in. So, the fresh air felt good. Thank you for all the responses to Monday's devotion. I appreciate it! It's good to hear some feedback and it helps to support each other.

Devotion

I think we have a pattern going. Marriage. Maybe because it's February and there's Valentine's Day? Anyway, as I always say when we focus on marriage, we can also relate these important lessons to all of our relationships. They might look a bit different, but the core values are the same. Have a Wonderful Wednesday ladies!

“Praying Circles Around Your Marriage”

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

My wife Lora and I have been happily married for 24 years. And … we just celebrated our 26th anniversary.

In other words, our first two years were tough. We had a lot of growing up to do, both as individuals and as a couple.

We realize not every marriage starts with a “honeymoon” phase. Although we had some amazing moments, our early years involved more work than we originally imagined. And we weren’t very efficient in the learning process because we tried to figure it out by ourselves. Thankfully, the Lord’s grace on our marriage helped us survive some really hard seasons.

For our relationships to improve, it’s important we learn the lessons God is trying to teach us. We’ve had to learn a few lessons many times over! Making mistakes is a given, but what we do with those mistakes, and whether we learn from them, helps determine whether we grow closer or further apart.

Like many couples, Lora and I are very different from one another. Those differences can bring quite the adventure — and perhaps some adversity, too. But the tension-causing differences can become blessings in disguise where we learn to complement one another. Each of us, with our differences, reflect varying dimensions of God’s character.

Another lesson I’ve discovered is I can be selfish and married, but I cannot be selfish and happily married. Marriage is one way God interrupts our preoccupation with ourselves. As we grow as a couple, I have to focus on meeting my wife’s needs. Because when I focus on getting my needs met, I end up swimming upstream, against the current.

There are two keys to changing the current: humility and prayer. When we stay humble and stay hungry, there’s nothing God cannot do in us and through us! That certainly applies to marriage. When I walk in Christ-like humility and have a desire for oneness, I gain wisdom and experience — instead of repeating my same selfish patterns.

Ephesians 4:2 reminds us, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Humility is the key to unity. And prayer is the key to humility. It’s recognition that I cannot do this in my own strength, with my own wisdom.

Nothing has the potential to change relational momentum like prayer! When people pursue a dream, I often remind them it takes longer and is much harder than they originally imagined. But the payoff is always greater, too.

The same is true for marriage. Marriage is a God-ordained, God-sized dream. And no one said it would be easy. Just like chasing a career dream requires a plan, some training and some determination, focusing on your marriage with the same kind of intensity is one of the best investments we can make.

Prayer is the difference between the best I can do and the best God can do. Prayer softens hearts, downloads wisdom, develops patience, exposes fear, challenges our thinking, and points us to the ultimate covenantal relationship with the One who loves us in the purest, most self-sacrificing way.

Prayer is as important to marriage as anything you’ll ever do. I’ll never be a perfect spouse, but I can be a praying spouse. There are moments in marriage when prayer is all we have left, but that doesn’t mean it should be a last resort. When we prioritize prayer, it’s preventative medicine. How are you circling your marriage in prayer today?

Lord, lead me in a prayer revival for my marriage. Use my spouse and me to be part of the perfecting work You’re doing in each of our hearts and lives. Give me a greater humility and love so I might care properly for my spouse. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Mark Batterson

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Philippians 2:3-4,“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (NIV)

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"All I Hear Is Boo"

2/4/2019

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Good morning ladies. How are you doing today? I hope you had a great weekend. It felt like Spring as February rolled in. At least for a couple of days. So, what were you up to? We just did some laundry and other household things on Saturday, but also managed to get out just a little bit. We wanted to get both of the cars washed (the line was verrryyyy long) and we gave Molly a bath since it was warmer out. She stretched out in the sun (inside) after that to dry off. On Sunday we had a very good service and then we went out with a newer couple for dinner. It was a great time. And last night, we checked in on the Super Bowl, but we decided to watch other things, such as PBS' Victoria. Good choice, I'd say, since the game kinda looked like a boring one to me. We set out a few snacks and had a fun time.

Devotion

Have a great day ladies and a Marvelous Monday!

“All I Hear Is Boo”

“In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.” Proverbs 3:6 (TLB)

Here I was again, engulfed in loneliness and discouragement, my new companions. I was having another pity party, destroying any chance of falling asleep.

Ughhhh! This was happening more and more as I lay my weary body down beside my husband Dave, who seemed oblivious to the tug-of-war in my mind.

I should be content and happy, I scolded myself. I have a godly husband and three sons that keep me busy, but I wish my husband would help more, listen more, lead me more spiritually and be more attentive to my needs!

More, more, more.

Yes — God, I need more! I thought.

It feels like I do everything, and no one cares or notices, especially my husband. I fell asleep, scheming how I could get my husband on board with my plans to change him.

The next morning, Dave and I were teaching a group of young moms. Dave began eagerly telling the women what almost all their husbands probably experienced growing up.

“When your husband was a boy, he most likely had a mom or dad or a relative cheering for him, telling him, ‘Good job!’ As your husband got older, he might have had a coach, a teacher or some mentor telling him he was good at something, and that coach or teacher cheered him on and encouraged him to work harder.”

Dave was totally into his talk now. He’d been sitting beside me when we started, but he became more animated and stood up to make his points.

He told them that as a college quarterback, he had coaches and fans cheering him on and saying, “Dave Wilson, you’re the man!” As he said those words, he started clapping his hands enthusiastically. His energy was filling the room, and he had completely captured the women’s attention. He then explained that when I said yes to his marriage proposal, I shouted to the world, “You are the man of all men!” As he yelled those words, he looked straight at me with a look that said I was his biggest cheerleader.

Then he lowered the boom.

“But ladies, after we have been married a while,” he said sadly, “we men walk in the door after a long, hard day and all we hear is, ‘BOOOOOO!’”

My heart dropped. What was he saying … that I boo him all the time? My face turned red as I picked my heart up off the floor.

On the ride home, I defensively asked, “You think I boo you all the time?” I then said, “I’m not booing you. I am HELPING you!”

“It doesn’t feel like help,” Dave quietly replied.

He wasn’t angry or defensive, which bothered me because he seemed broken.

His battered soul worried me and I wondered, Was I the cause of the wind going out of his sails?

Dave then added, “You may not literally boo me, but you are constantly critiquing the things I do or say. You fix the things I have already fixed, like redressing the kids after I dressed them, or telling me what I should or shouldn’t have said to family and friends. It just doesn’t seem like I can do anything right in your eyes. All I hear is BOOOO!”

Silence engulfed the car. I was shocked! I had no idea he felt any of this.

When we got home I went straight up to my bedroom and fell to my knees, where I usually had deep conversations with God. It seemed it had been a long time since I’d been in that spot.

My prayers had become a rant-session about my husband's inability to meet my needs.

Conviction flooded my heart as I fell completely prostrate on the floor.

“Is it true, Lord? Have I gone from Dave’s biggest cheerleader to his biggest critic?”

Jesus gently answered, “Yes … and it’s because you believe if you change Dave, then you will be happy. But Dave wasn’t created to make you happy. Only I can do that.”

I realized I’d made Dave and our marriage more important than my relationship with God. And whatever we prioritize over God becomes the source of our joy.

Dave is an amazing guy, but he makes a really bad god!

“In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success” (Proverbs 3:6).

As I “put God first” in my life that day, I was filled with a love and appreciation for Dave that I had lost. As I began to cheer for him again, he morphed before my eyes into one incredible man and husband.

It’s truly amazing what a little cheering for someone can do.

Try it today, and watch what happens.

Father, may I put You first in everything. Please give me Your heart for my husband. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
Ann Wilson

TRUTH FOR TODAY

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (NIV)

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