“The Longing in Me”
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”
Psalm 143:8 (NIV)
It was a moment I had prayed for and yet, honestly, it was a moment I dreaded too. My husband, Barry, and I have only one child, a son named Christian, and it was finally time to let go.
Christian had been accepted into a college only a 3-hour drive from our home. That made this mom’s heart rest easier … a little!
We’d been collecting things all summer long.
A shower curtain and towels.
A coffee maker.
“You don’t drink coffee,” I said.
“I think I’ll start now,” was his response.
The list got longer and longer and the piles around the house got higher and higher.
When I woke up the morning of his move I prayed the words of a Psalm that I pray every single day, “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love …” (Psalm 143:8a). I paused there to let the weight of those words fill me. What a promise! God’s love will never fail.
On days when I feel strong, His love is with me and on days when I feel vulnerable and weak, His love is with me.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you.” I reminded my soul that this is a choice. I choose to place my trust in God when my heart wavers. I choose to trust God with my son’s life just as I choose to trust Him with my own.
“Okay, Lord. Let’s do this!”
We arrived at the school about the same time as half of the state of Texas, or so it seemed. Christian checked in at student housing and got his key. He’d be sharing a two-bedroom unit with his best friend, Brendan. That made my husband, Barry, and me very happy, as we love Brendan like another son.
Let me pause here to say, August in Texas is really not the month you want to carry boxes up three flights of stairs. Halfway through my fourth trip I flopped down on the stairs and announced to anyone who was listening, “I’m too old for this!”
By sunset we had most things in place. Barry and I were staying for the night in a local hotel so we left the boys in peace to enjoy their first night as college freshmen. We grabbed a quick dinner in a local diner and then flopped into bed.
“Do you think he’s ready for this?” Barry asked. “Did we do enough to prepare him?”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “But I do know he loves God, and even more than that, I know God loves him more than you and I ever could … I’m just wondering though, do you think he’ll ever remember to change his sheets?”
The following day we stocked their refrigerator, vacuumed the rooms and took the trash and empty boxes to the dumpster. Then it was time to leave. I asked the boys if we could pray over them and their new home. I shared my morning verse, my daily prayer and reminded them that when you trust your life to Christ, He’ll direct your steps.
Christian walked us out to the car. He hugged his dad and me and said, “Thank you! Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making this possible.” Then he turned and walked into all that God had for him his freshman year. I cried all the way home. Can you cry for three solid hours? Why, yes you can!
Life seems to be full of moments that ask us to let go when we long to hold on.
I don’t know what you face right now, what season of life you’re in, but my prayer for you is simple and from the heart. May you know the comfort and strength of the One whose love will never fail you, and whose mercies are new every single morning!
Heavenly Father, help us to know that Your love for us will never fail. Be our comfort and strength whatever season of life we find ourselves in. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Ecclesiastes 3:1, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (KJV)
Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (NIV)